RiverLogic Tips.
Check back each month for new RiverLogic Tips.
October 2023 | No. 5
UNBLOCKING THE DAM
For centuries, dams have been built across rivers and streams to irrigate farms, provide drinking water, prevent flooding, and more recently to generate electricity. But the new research shows that these dams are also choking the life out of our rivers. When a dam wall finally comes down, the river quickly begins to flow and rebound.
Human communication can also become damned up and sometimes turn toxic. This becomes especially true with behaviors that we do not know how to handle. The following are examples of some of these challenging behaviors along with tips that can help you to unblock the dam in order to create more flow.
August 2023 | No. 4
PILOTING THE CROSSCURRENTS
Crosscurrents are defined as a stretch of turbulent water in a river or sea caused by one current flowing into or across another current. This vividly describes the experience so many of us find ourselves in during a disagreement, misunderstanding, or serious conflict.
River guides teach that we can avert danger by learning to see the challenges ahead. The following are guidelines for noticing early signs of activation and then steps to employ to help calm the waters of conflict.
June 2023 | No. 3
NAVIGATING EDDIES
According to the Oxford dictionary, eddies are “circular movements of water which run counter to the main current causing a small whirlpool.” According to my river guide friends, there is just no end to the way eddies trap or suck you in.
In my work as a Leadership Coach, I have noticed that we all get caught in eddies – “listening eddies” is what I call them.
March 2023 | No. 2
FEEL THE UNDERCURRENTS
Definition: An undercurrent is a type of water current that moves below the surface.
Within our communication it is a sense that there might be something under the surface that is not being said. We might feel it as an internal pull that tells us that others behavior and speech are just not in sync. By ignoring the undercurrents – or just not even noticing them to begin with, we end up not feeling fully connected with the other person. It will typically feel like a lack of ease or flow between us; like there is something in the way.
This undercurrent of tension typically comes from small almost imperceptible movements that we may not even be consciously aware of. We can learn to hone our observation and sensing skills to help us strengthen our ability to listen underneath words.
February 2023 | No. 1
HITTING THE RAPIDS
We will all hit the rapids, at times. Afterall, we are emotional beings.
What I am calling the “rapids” is an amygdala hijack where we have become so emotionally activated that signals bypass our rational brain and go instead directly to our emotional brain (our limbic system.) At this point, we lose our ability to think clearly, or listen with any real attention.
We will notice our racing heart, sweaty palms, inability to think clearly, etc. If we want to be able to listen and stay engaged in a conversation but we have “hit the rapids,” the following strategies can help: